My name is Lena[i] and I want to tell you all! To this I was inspired by Lama, whom
you know well, an incredible, wise, beautiful woman, you could say that she has this
spark in the eye, which gave me the courage to begin. I want to tell you one story about the
hopeless state of love.
[i] By the way, this is not my real name, but it is polite to introduce yourself.
Another day of demanding work; fortunately, my friend Zuza is also working there. You can
say that nothing connects people like the same enemy, in our case the boss.
Every day I was struggling with stress, meeting financial targets and I had still seen the boss coming up
with all sorts of reasons for why we are doing so bad… Imagine a 100,000 city and my sales goal is
50,000 per month. I think not even Wolf from Wall Street has such tricks to push the
middle of an average city to buy luxury watches. In one word, it was impossible for me to
get used to thinking more and more about how I cannot cope.
The only effective escape were mountains…
I love them, in every weather. Almost every weekend, me and Zuza beat 40 km through the peaks. Sometimes in silence, sometimes listening to podcasts on Spotify.
Once we got into a rainstorm. Somehow we got to the mountain shelter, I ordered a
cappuccino (my constant habit). In the corner was a small TV from the early 90‘s, playing the film
Under the Tuscan Sun. In fact, it was a casual drama movie but then we didn’t have anything else
to do. This movie reminded me of the carefree days of holidays, freedom, the
sun and adventures.
But I mention this movie because I would like to quote one very important
scene. After a failed marriage, the main character Frances moved out from San Francisco to
Tuscany, where she met many friendly characters. But she still had a broken heart, and in
fact she desperately wanted to fall in love. She met Katherine, a 60-year-old Italian
woman, very elegant, who had experienced everything in her life and seen everything she
wanted, and that’s her story:
When I was a little girl, I used to love ladybugs, they were so beautiful! I was able to look for them in the field all my holidays. Often, I did not find any, and I was already planning where I would look
for them the following day.
One day, I went to a meadow full of flowers, tired of looking for ladybugs, I fell asleep. You could say that I had missed my chance… but when I woke up, I was covered by ladybugs from head to toes.
Is it not beautiful? Me and Zuza interpreted this in our own way:
Tired of meeting the hopeless types of guys and dates that ended up in disappointment, we realized that everything had its own time and now it was time to focus on ourselves. On the same day, we signed up to a climbing club.
Two days later, we started the training. You can imagine Zuza and I were probably the
oldest, with us in the group there were 6-year-old kids who could easily teach us
about the way of belaying and binding an eight figure, but it was still great and we got
into it fast. Even work was easier because I stopped worrying about things I cannot
change.
Way back home, I got a message on Instagram:
Hi, I saw you at the trainings, you’re doing a great job, maybe you want to walk around Karkonosze?
Let’s call him Adam.
At first, I was flooded with fury.
Nice so someone is stalking me? Another guy who doesn’t
have the courage to start a conversation in real life!
But later I couldn’t take off the smile from my face. I wrote back the following day (I recommend this tactics, play it with time – that always works). We texted a lot but I still kept my tactic of replying a few hours later. Besides, he was also busy, I did not meet him on any climbing lessons, he went to the Alps trip as an Alpinist and a professional skier.
It goes without saying that he was my crush.
I spent my holidays doing cardio-climb and standard climbing, all this in fact only to keep myself physically fit for the first meeting in the mountains, to be in a good shape and not to stand back.
Unfortunately, when the meeting took place, this man had no defects. He was so interesting, we were able to talk for hours and were connected through common passions. There was nothing between us, only a kiss. But I received it as a significant signal, and was satisfied that there was nothing
because we had time.
When he left for the next mountain excursion, we lost touch because there was certainly no time, no range, etc. (Typical when you fall in love: you justify everything.)
But Instagram quickly solved my doubts. As an experienced stalker, I learned that he’d had a girlfriend for several years…
Yes, yet another disappointment, but it was not that bad. I could not forget, and was not
angry at all. I simply missed all those days when I was waiting for a meeting or a message, and
later when he wrote it, he was waiting for hours for my message (Because I am not
dependent on him, of course!)
A few days later Adam wrote to me as always, but I never replied. After all, I continued to climb and walk in Karkonosze, sometimes on purpose just with myself, choosing long distances with headphones in my ears.
Half a year later, we were planning to go with Zuza to the Sněžka mountain. In the last minute before our trip, Zuza texted me that she was feeling bad and cannot go with me.
So I went alone. That day was snowing heavily and I was wondering if I can make it back.
Couldn’t see any signs of a trail. I was fixing my boots when a ladybug which sat down on my hand.
Unbeliveable, it’s winter…
(Do you remember story of Katherine ?)
At that moment I knew that something was gonna happen, or maybe it was a sign to change something? Who knows?
I reached the peak, and as usual took a few pictures of the views. Suddenly, I recognized the voice
behind my back. It was Adam. Believe me or not, it is a true story.
This story never ended well; I crossed to the other side before he noticed me.
No matter how many ladybugs I can see,
I am the Master of my Destiny.
Then in my life I felt disappointed many times more,
but never saw a ladybug in winter anymore.
Photo: Elad Ben-Cnaan
